Whenever God needs me to get a point, He will repeat it in my hearing multiple times from multiple sources and usually by this time, He’s tried telling me Himself, but I’ve not listened (yes, sometimes I’m hard headed). By the second or third time, I usually get the memo and move forward in what He’s telling me. Now, I need you to know that it’s not always like that with God and I. Most of the time, I do what He tells me the first time but when I am scared, nervous, or feel justified I can be a little stubborn.
A few weeks ago, God dealt with me on a part I played in a very big misunderstanding. I was so upset that someone could treat me with such carelessness, but I did not want to acknowledge that I was also careless with how I was treating them. I decided to pray for this person the way I prayed for so many others who offended me. But this time was different because I had yet to acknowledge my part in the mess, so even though I was praying to forgive them, it was like my prayers were falling to the ground and dying. In the entire month I was praying for them, it was like I still had this stronghold and it would not break.
A week ago I was on Facebook and a T.D. Jakes video popped up on my timeline. In the video, Bishop Jakes was talking about offense and he used the scripture Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil. ~ Ephesians 4:26-27. I listened and liked the post but never thought it was for me. A week later I was watching another message by another preacher and he used the exact same scripture talking about offense and I knew God was speaking but I didn’t move because I was stubborn and felt that their offense to me was worse than mine to them - it was a standoff (or so I thought).
The next day I was walking in my house and it was like a light bulb went off in my head. I knew some of the very things I was asking God to fix and change for me were being held up because I was still holding an offense to this person. It was like God was giving me yet another chance to get it right, so I emailed the person and sincerely apologized for my part in our misunderstanding. The beauty of it is that once I apologized I was free from the burden of anger towards that person and I knew immediately that the prayers I prayed before were going to be answered now because my heart was clear of offense. They did not have to ever read or respond to the email, but because I was sincere in my apology, the anger I felt was gone. But even more significant was that my relationship with God was mended in that moment. While I was angry and holding onto this anger, I felt a strain in my relationship with God and I did not like it. I was trying to find out what was going on and all the while, it was because I had this anger in my heart towards someone I was supposed to forgive. Once I let that go, I was free in my relationship with my Heavenly Father again and for me that’s the most important relationship I will ever have so nothing can stand in the way of that.
The moral of the story is we must not hold onto offense and we must forgive. I know that forgiving someone can be the hardest thing one can do, but I also know the benefits. Up until this issue, I thought I was doing well with not holding onto offenses and forgiving, but I realized quickly that I still had room to grow and mature. If you are holding onto something, make a choice to sincerely forgive today and if you’ve hurt someone make a choice today to sincerely apologize because holding onto that stuff will only cause you harm in the long run. Let it go and hold no offense.
I get a lot of questions about the name of my brand, Jadora's Child and while I answer every one of them, I thought I would write a post about the name and its meaning.
Growing up, I was raised by my Mom, Grandmother, and Great-Grandmother. But my Grandmother and Great-Grandmother both had a profound effect on my life. I called them Mom-Mom (my Great-Grandmother) and Grandmom. They were the epicenter of all that was good in my life for a long time. Did we have our battles? Yes, we did, but their strength, courage, and wisdom still amaze me to this day. They taught me how to be strong, how to be a good Mom, how to make the ends meet, how to cook and so many other things. I don't think I would be the woman I am today without them and I am thankful for every moment I spent with them.
Mom-Mom and Grandmom died in 1999, 91 days apart and it was literally the worst year of my life. Before that, I could not imagine living without them, but since their deaths, I've learned that all of the things they told me and taught me helped me to live without them. I thank God for their influence and their love.
Jadora's Child was birthed from them - Jadora is literally their names together. Janet, my Grandmother and Dorothy, my Great-Grandmother and I am and will always be their child. Creating Jadora's Child initially began as one company, but I've realized that it really is my brand; it is who I am and who I will always be.
I am Jadora's Child and Jadora's Child is me.
Did you know that God hears your heart’s desire? Did you know that our joy (real joy) comes from the Lord? I have known these truths for a while, but about a month ago God once again proved to me that He loves me and desires to see me smile.
In early January, I heard about the upcoming Martin Luther King breakfast being held at the Armory in Minneapolis and I knew immediately I wanted to go. I looked it up online and saw that Don Lemon was scheduled to be the keynote speaker and the Sounds of Blackness were scheduled to perform. However, when I arrived at the tickets portion of the website I was immediately disappointed because not only were the tickets I desired out of my price range, but they were also sold out. I was a bit sad because I really wanted to be there, but internally I made a pledge with myself to make plans to attend in 2020. I went about the rest of the day not thinking any more about the event, but in my heart, I really wanted to attend. More than a week later, I came back from lunch to a message from my manager, “Come see me when you get back to your desk!” I immediately thought I was in trouble although I had no clue why. It’s probably how most kids feel when they get called to the principal’s office; it’s a nice place to walk by but I don’t really want to be summoned there, but that’s just me. Anyway, I walked into her office and said, “I’m telling you I did not do it” and chuckled so if I was in trouble it would break the ice. She said something about knowing that I would think it was about something more serious, but it wasn’t, she just had a question for me. Her question, “Do you want to go to the Martin Luther King Breakfast at the Armory?”. I was stunned, floored, and elated all at the same time. Of course, my answer was YES! I told her that I tried to get tickets but was I could not find any that were in my budget. She said OK, it’s yours and she made the arrangements for me to go. I walked back to my desk on cloud 9 and a grin the size of the entirety of these United States! I was OVERJOYED!!
The night before the breakfast, I tried to figure out what I was going to wear and how I was going to do my hair so that I would look my best and be prepared because the event began at 7 am. The next morning the temperature in Minneapolis was frigid and the dress I planned to wear was not going to make it so I had to improvise and thankfully there was a dress that would work. In addition to a wardrobe change, I was suddenly exhausted as if sleep had alluded me throughout the night, but I was not about to let being tired or the frigid temperatures outside get to me so I pressed on because I could not miss this event. When I arrived at the Armory, I found the table my job paid for and discovered it was right on the floor of the venue with a clear view of the stage. I was once again over the moon! I tried to hold my composure but when the Sounds of Blackness performed I got up, sang and danced a little bit and at that moment it did not matter that I was sitting at a table with attorneys and staff from my job because I was determined to enjoy every moment. When Don Lemon got up to speak, I thought about the possible consequences of appearing to agree with his remarks especially political ones, but at that moment, I did not care. It honestly did not matter what Don Lemon said, although his speech was really good, it did not matter because the truth for me at that moment was I was living the dream – the dream of being at the Martin Luther King breakfast celebrating the man with a dream for a nation that has still yet to come to full fruition. I was living the dream that I wanted but was out of reach until God’s favor turned a no into a yes, and I was determined to savor every single moment.
Once the event was over, I braved the cold again and walked back to my car. On the way home, all I could do was cry and praise God for hearing my heart prayers. You see I never prayed about going, it was my desire, but I did not think it was worthy of prayer time. I honestly did not think anything more of it after I realized the seat I wanted was sold out. Yet, my wonderful Abba saw fit to let me go and not only let me go but let me go for free. Not only let me go for free but also have a great time and not only have a great time but to be right in the middle of the action. I just cried and worshiped God because really He did not have to do it but He did. Were there other pressing prayer matters, yes, but for me, this was the encouragement I needed to be reminded that our God is Father and He really truly cares about all that concerns us even the small things that we think aren’t worth His time.
I will leave you with this, know that God hears you. He hears your prayers and He hears your heart. He knows the desires He’s placed in you and He wants what is best for you. I feel like someone thinks that God can only be a tyrant or one who really is too broad to be concerned about the little details of your life, but I am here to tell you that while our Father God is big, He longs to be our Abba (Father, Daddy). He longs to smother us with His undying, never-ending love. It’s not that He’s disinterested in helping you grow, but just as a loving earthly father gives his child gifts as well as discipline, our Heavenly Father is no different, in fact, I think He’s a little bit better at it but I'm biased because I already know. God loves you and He hears the cries of your heart. He’s with you and He will never leave you nor forsake you, just trust Him.
Here are some of the photos I took at the Martin Luther King Breakfast and if you’d like to watch the rebroadcast of the event you can click here.
Every year people across the world make resolutions about weight loss, finances, etc. While all of that is great, I have decided to make a different resolution. This year I am resolving to spend more time with God in prayer. I am resolving to up my game and utilize my war room like never before. I am resolving to get on my face and seek God because honestly, I cannot do this life with Him.
The past year has been full of ups and downs for me, in fact; the last couple of years have been a whirlwind of ups and downs. From moving to Minnesota on a journey of faith to finally finding a place to live, to releasing that place only to be on the go again, then to finally settling into a place only to be attacked on every side after getting settled. From my health to my finances, it’s all been under attack. The last few years left me battle-worn and along the way I allowed myself to get sidetracked in my fight. I figured out that I left my number one weapon behind and I knew I needed to go back to get it if I was going to win these battles.
For me, it was not that I left prayer behind completely, but I certainly did not use my prayer life to its full capacity. Partially because I was weary from the previous season and partially because I believed a lie. I believed the lie the enemy told me that my prayers were not good enough because they did not sound like this person’s prayers or that person’s prayers. I lost a lot of the confidence I had even after making such a huge faith leap in my move to Minnesota. The enemy was taking his best hits, and I was on the ground feeling defeated, but that’s the thing about feelings – they often lie to us too. I was not defeated, and I had not lost the war. God heard my prayers and I had proof; real proof! I had to find my voice in prayer again and debunk the lie because I knew God not only heard my prayers, but He answered them as well.
While the last couple of years were challenging God reminded me that He not only kept me but restored back to me everything I lost in the previous seasons. He not only put me back where I was before I said yes, but I am better now because I am able to see clearly for myself the healing God has done, is doing, and ultimately will do to make me the woman He wants me to be. I’ve taken the enemies kicks and taunts, but no more. God’s reminders were like a trainer telling me to GET UP, it’s time to fight for real! It was like his Words were a hand up for me to stand on His reminders helped me to be ready to fight the good fight of faith again. I decided this year, and I am resolving again to get on my face and do the work because I know that my fight is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and wickedness in high places. I won’t win those fights talking or wrestling with my hands, but I will win them in prayer.
Today, if you saw yourself in my short testimony, please do yourself a favor and resolve to spend more time with God in prayer. He has so much to show us, tell us, and give us in prayer, but it will only come when we resolve to seek Him. I heard someone say recently that everything we need is in the seek (the mighty, relentless pursuit of God). I am determined to do everything in my power to seek him both in prayer and in His Word. And thankfully, our God does not grow weary at hearing from us, in fact, He LOVES it! So, let’s resolve today to seek Him for ourselves, for our families, and for our world. Let’s see how much better things can be on the other side of 2019 if we commit to ourselves to the seek.
If you need some more motivation and a way to journal your renewed prayer season, pick up my book How to Journal Your Prayers and the prayer journal Don’t Stop Knocking, Don’t Stop Seeking, Don’t Stop Praying, Don’t Stop Believing! For a limited time, you can purchase the set for just $20.00. And if you have specific prayer needs or need someone to pray with you, reach out to the Minnesota Prayer Hotline we'd love to pray with you!
Happy New Year!
Blessing to you Prayer Warriors,
Author's Note: This is not a political post. I have purposed not to write politically on my blog because politics is so polarizing. Politics will cause you to lose and gain friends quickly because everyone has an opinion and most think that their opinion is correct. Well, today we won’t have to agree or disagree about the political climate in America today because while this post is about President Barack Obama it is not about his policies, but about his family.
Growing up in a predominately black community, there were not a lot of examples of good marriage and family. Most of the kids in my neighborhoods were being raised by single moms, by a grandparent – usually the Grandmom, or some other female head of household. I knew very few kids that were living with both their Mom and Dad in the same house. Growing up, there was not a whole lot of healthy love and affection displayed on TV shows with actors who looked like me. Until the Cosby Show. The Cosby Show transformed not only how America saw black families but it also redefined how we as black people saw ourselves. We had an example for ourselves of what love in a black family could look like. Cliff and Claire were great parents with great educations and great careers and they really loved their children. But the Cosby Show was just a TV show and while I knew that there are living examples of this type of loving, well-educated, well-spoken, well-read family in the black community it was like a well-kept secret that was almost too good to share, at least that is how it felt to me. We all wanted some aspect of that life – The Cosby Show life – whether it was Cliff and Claire’s love for one another or the love they had for their children or just their life in general – there was something wonderful about seeing an image on TV that reflected the good we (black people) could be. But again, it was just a TV show.
When Barack Obama became the first black president of these United States, almost immediately he began to show the world what real love should look like. Having matured by this time, I realized that finding, keeping and displaying real love was not just a black issue. Growing up in a black community “us” was all I knew, but in 2008 I was an adult who knew that America’s divorce rate was hovering around 50% and I also knew that in certain communities, including the black community, the divorce rate was much higher, if we married at all. But just like Cliff and Claire did in the 1980’s and early 1990’s, President and Mrs. Obama defied the stereotypes for love, marriage, family, and education.
Almost immediately, I could see that President Obama was completely and totally in love with his wife Michelle. Even after years of being together, you could tell that if she ran to the moon he’d be right behind her. After years of being together, their public displays of affection were akin to two teenagers in love – she could not keep her eyes off him and he could not keep his eyes off her. It was so beautiful and so influential. With Hollywood A-listers getting divorces like new dresses; women deciding to just become single moms because they were tired of waiting for the right one; and men deciding that they’d rather play the field than settle down, Barack and Michelle were showing the world a different view. They were showing the world that you could be educated (they both graduated Harvard Law), well read, well spoken, be black and love your family. They showed the world that the stereotypes regarding marriage in the black community and in America can be broken. The Obamas showed us that a husband and wife can both be successful and cheer each other on. They showed us that PDA (Public Displays of Affection) with our family is not just possible, it’s actually cool. The Obamas showed us that we don’t have to sacrifice family for our career, we just need to work hard at achieving greatness in both because we can have a successful career, a wonderful family and not have to compromise on either. The Obamas showed us – not just Black people – but all of us that a good marriage is possible even after 20+ years. For the last 8 years, I have watched the Obamas not just for political reasons, but because I absolutely love their love. They displayed the perfect balance of cool, charm, grace, and poise no matter where they were all the while, showing the world that being happily married with a beautiful family is not just on TV but it’s happening in real life and it’s on display for all of us to see.
Today, as President Obama and his family leave the White House for the last time as the First Family of these United States, I am thankful for the example that Obamas have set for marriage, education and family. It is an example that I will never forget.
On Sunday, June 8th I received the right hand of fellowship from my Minnesota church, Tree of Life and while I still love my Connecticut church, I am thankful to have great Godly leaders here in Minnesota. Our Pastors – Warren and Nadine Carey – have been such a tremendous blessing and the church has been a tremendous blessing as well. The church has rallied around us both while in transition and even now that we are in our home. Whether it was a word, a hug, a prayer, or simply just love – our church family here in Minnesota has been here for us. I had no idea when we left Connecticut that God was sending us to this amazing church, but I am so thankful that He did.
I am humbled by God’s grace and His attention to detail in all things. When God told me to leave Connecticut and come to Minnesota I looked online for a church but none fit us. The reason none fit us was because we were/are supposed to be at Tree of Life. I cannot even tell you how thankful I am that God cares about every single detail of how things work in our lives.
I pray that as you obey God, that you too will see His hand in every single area of your life.
When 2016 began, I was thankful for a New Year but trying hard to stay in faith. I obeyed God and left my job, but I felt like I was losing everything. All that I knew was that I was going to follow God, but I did not know where He was taking me. When I entered 2016, I remembered all the great things – seemingly impossible things – that God did for me and I was encouraged that something would happen. As we entered the New Year, I had no idea what was to come, I just knew that I needed to follow God like never before.
As I stood on the cusp of 2016, not knowing what exactly the year had in store I was hopeful and I stand at the end of 2016 knowing that I put my hope in the right place – in God. For me, 2016 was full of the unthinkable and while that may seem like a bad thing, the truth is that it is not a bad thing at all. In January 2016, I could have never imagined leaving Connecticut, the East Coast and all that I knew because God said to go. In January 2016, I could have never imagined living in a lake house – it was unthinkable – not unattainable, simply unthinkable (something I had not thought of, but in my heart I dreamed about). In January 2016, it was unthinkable that I would get on a plane being completely unsure of what would happen once I got off. In January 2016, I did not think I would be where I am today, but here I am.
I can tell you without hesitation that 2016 was one of the most challenging years of my entire life. I cried more than I probably ever have. I prayed more than I ever have. I cried out to God more than I thought was humanly possible. I did things most people would never do. I often look back and see all the bumps in the road, all the places where I did not do so well, all the opportunities I missed and all the friendships I lost. However, when I look back through the right lens – God’s lens – I see all of things I achieved, all the of ways He made, all the times He carried me, all the times He heard me, all the times He spoke to me, all the people He moved because they were no longer for me and all the great opportunities He still has in store for me.
Now that I stand here at the cusp of 2017, looking back at what God did for me and through me in 2015 and 2016, not only am I encouraged, but I am also excited to see what God does in 2017. God outdid Himself in my life in 2015 and again in 2016, so if the last 2 years are a preview of what He is about to do, I anxiously await what He will do in 2017!
Today, before this year is out take a moment to look at your life through God’s lens – see what He sees about your life thus far and about your life to come, then live through His lens. God really wants the best for us – His children. That will not always look the way we think it should look and it won’t always go the way we think it should go, but if we have the faith to believe nothing will be impossible for us.
My prayer for you friends is that you will allow God to do bold things through your life. I pray that God shows Himself strong for you every single day. I pray that you are prosperous and healthy and I pray that your family is prosperous and healthy. I pray that you will let your light shine so that all men will know that you belong to the King!
Happy New Year!
In the busyness of life, it can be easy to get distracted and lose focus of what matters. It can be easy to get lost in the shuffle and be too busy to pray, too busy to read the word, and too busy to cultivate our walk with the Lord. But, as believers, we should always make cultivating our relationship with God our central focus. We have to make time to sit at the feet of Jesus like Mary did and not be so consumed like Martha.
You remember the story of Mary and Martha. Martha invited Jesus into her home and she got busy preparing in the kitchen to serve her guests. As Martha fussed in the kitchen, her sister Mary sat at the feet of Jesus. Martha was furious because she thought Mary should have been helping her in the kitchen, but Jesus told Martha that Mary was doing the right thing. "As they were traveling along, Jesus went into a village. A woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary. Mary sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to him talk. But Martha was upset about all the work she had to do. So she asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work all by myself? Tell her to help me.” The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha! You worry and fuss about a lot of things. There’s only one thing you need. Mary has made the right choice, and that one thing will not be taken away from her.” ~ Luke 10:38-41 God's Word Translation
Often times, we get like Martha so caught up in serving our families, serving on our jobs, and in our churches that we miss the chief thing - the first thing - intimacy with Jesus. That is what Jesus was telling Martha and what He is reminding us today - that while we have work, family, business and so much more happening in our daily lives, we must still make time to sit at the feet of Jesus. We must make time to commune with Him. It is in Him that we receive our strength; it is in Him that we have our hope; it is in Him that we live, move and have our being and He must be our chief priority.
Today, if you recognize that you've become more like Martha and less like Mary, take the opportunity to recalibrate your life, your thoughts, and your priorities to make Him first. Recalibrate and live with Jesus at the center of your life.
Sometimes you must trust God through the tears. Trusting God when you don’t fully understand what He is doing and why He is allowing things to occur can be frustrating and fear invoking. The word says in Isaiah 55:8, "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.” While God is concerned about what’s happening for you in the moment, He’s also just as concerned with what is coming in your life, who you will affect, and so much more.
I told someone once that God is like an air traffic controller -- He sees you and all people around you – You land too soon and you may delay someone else. You move too late and someone connected to you may miss their victory. God knows exactly where you need to be and when you need to be there. He knows when and why we need to be delayed (or leave sooner) and His timing is perfect. God’s timing is never “off” and He knows exactly what He is doing.
I received a greater revelation of this just the other day. While trying to leave for work my normal way, I was delayed by someone else’s timetable and I thought for certain I was going to be late and miss my connections. The Lord spoke clearly to me and said “trust me,” and while I heard Him say that I was just annoyed and did not want to miss my connection. I pressed through and did what He led me to do – go to a different station to pick up my connection – and when I arrived I was right on time. The moral of the story is that sometimes you will be delayed getting where you need to go. Sometimes you will find yourself wondering why you are late when you started out your journey early. Know this, if you trust God’s timing even when it seems off, you will get to where you need to go right on time.
Love & Blessings,
One of the lessons I have learned is that forgiveness is important to God and important to the process of getting to the next level. The Word of God makes it very clear that forgiveness is important, in fact, Jesus said in the book of Matthew that “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15). So, forgiveness is a vital part of our process as believers in Jesus and Jesus makes it very clear that to be forgiven, we must also forgive. Yet, I know firsthand how difficult forgiveness can be, especially when the people you should forgive have been trusted with your heart or your finances or even your children. It can also be especially difficult to forgive someone who is not apologetic about their behavior because in their minds they have done nothing wrong.
I have heard so many people say that forgiveness is not about the person you need to forgive, it’s about you and they are correct. In the scripture verse above Jesus never said that you need to forgive them to their face or tell them that you forgive them. He did not say that you need to wait until they apologize or until they recognize their wrong. He said to forgive and you will be forgiven, so it is not about the person who hurt you, it is about you. Forgiveness is about you being free of the sting of what happened; it is about you being available in your heart, mind, and spirit to really enjoy the freedom Christ brought for you when He died on the cross. Forgiveness releases you from the bondage of what they did to you. Forgiveness not only allows you to release them, but it also releases you from the pain of what they did. It allows you to walk away clear, knowing that you have done what you needed to do.
I know that it can be painful to think about what someone else has done to you and it can be hard to let that go. It’s easier to hold onto something and to seemingly hold your pain over someone else’s head but it’s causing you harm, blocking your prayers, and hindering you from the greater God wants to do in your life. I know this because a few years ago, God began to deal with me on this very subject. People I allowed in my life took advantage of me in so many ways, they’d taken my gifts, my love, and more and that hurt me, but for me to move on with my life in freedom, I needed to forgive them. So, for a few months I read through and prayed through a book called O Lord, Forgive Them: 30 Days of Praying for Your Enemies by Zari Banks. The book is designed as a 30-day devotional, but my first time reading through it, it took me nearly double the time because as I prayed through the book the Lord dealt with me on how I allowed the hurt inflicted on me by others to stop me from pursuing my dreams. He dealt with me on the hurt I had for people living and dead and how I did not want to forgive them because I wanted something to be angry about and I wanted to have something to hold over those who had hurt me. I felt justified in my unforgiveness because they did not deserve it, but then the Lord said to me, “but do you deserve forgiveness?” That cut like a knife deep in my heart because the truth is I did not deserve forgiveness, it is only be His mercy and death on the cross that I am even allowed to be forgiven. So, every day I battled through and prayed for those who hurt me and by the end of it, I was in a much better place. I was no longer holding onto past hurts and infractions done to me and I was finally free of the pain and sting of unforgiveness. I could see how the unforgiveness I held onto affected my relationships because I held back based on the hurt places I had been in, but now I was free and did not have to change who I was because I was afraid of being hurt again. My walk through forgiveness had not only allowed me to forgive those who hurt me, but it allowed God to heal me completely so that I could be free to be me.
Today, I implore you that if you are reading this and know that you have some people you need to forgive, don’t wait. Get your freedom today and forgive them, your life will be so much better for it.
Love, Peace & Prayers for YOU!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Now that we are settled in our home, I want to walk you through what God did for us. Detailed below is the beginning of week two of our journey. I am so thankful for those who watched my videos, but the blog posts will provide more insight for the times I could not record a video.
Our first week in Minnesota we stayed at the LaQuinta Hotel in Bloomington, MN for the entire first week (7 nights) and I was truly thankful for how God provided for that week. He told me before I left to book a room for the week, but I did not know how I was going to pay for it. All the way to Minnesota, I prayed and prayed believing that God would provide for us. I knew that He would provide because He had provided for our flights, even Malachi’s flight at the last minute, so I knew He would not leave us stranded.
During that first week, I recorded a video and applied for positions in the region. I also had my first job interview. I was confident that I would get this position because during the phone interview I had before I left Connecticut I was given every assurance that I was the right fit we just needed to formally meet. I thought that the interview went well and I was excited to receive a formal offer. The person who would have been my manager made it very clear that she wanted me for the position, and while I do not usually get excited about a job unless I have a formal offer, I walked out of the interview believing that the job was mine and the official offer was just a formality. I was supposed to get a call from the manager with my offer that Tuesday (the interview was on Friday) and when Tuesday came I did not hear from her and I grew concerned. We had one more night at the hotel and I had no clue where we were going to go.
Tuesday night, I did not worry, I just believed that God would move – somehow, someway I just believed that God would move. After all, I was praying with my prayer partner every single day and I just knew that God would move by morning. The next day, I woke up and prayed with my prayer partner, I was nervous but I still believed. Later, my friend Troy reached out to me on Facebook and agreed with me in prayer for more time at the hotel. By this time, it was almost noon so I called to the front desk and asked about late checkout; Late checkout was at 2pm so they allowed us to stay until then. As I talked with Troy, he offered me other options like sitting in the lobby and waiting for God to move. I heard him, but by now I was in full panic mode because it was now noon and I had no idea where we were going to go. I cried and said to God that I could not believe He brought us all the way to Minnesota to just leave us stranded. I was trying to stay in faith, but this was a new level for me. There was nothing I could do to make this work on my own, I absolutely needed God to do something. I did not have enough money to stay another week at the LaQuinta and I did not have enough money to go to another hotel. I felt totally helpless to do anything for myself, but I believed that God would not leave me here, I just could not see how He was going to make it work. I knew that I needed Him to move on our behalf, but I had no idea what that would look like, I just knew that I needed us to either stay at this hotel or move to another hotel.
We packed our bags because I was not sure what to do and I figured I could always unpack if we were staying at the LaQuinta. I continued to cry and I sent a text to my friend who was on her way to the hotel. When my friend arrived, she came up to the room and told me that she had an idea. She said she had funds for another week at this hotel or she could use her Marriot Rewards points to get us a room we just needed to find one. I could feel myself breathe when she provided the option to me. I felt like I had been holding my breath waiting to see how God was going to move and when my friend said she would help us again, I was so thankful because God had spoken to her heart and provided for her to help us with another hotel stay. She stood in our LaQuinta hotel room browsing local Marriott hotels on her phone while Malachi and I finished packing up. By the time, we were done, she booked us 5 nights at the Town Place and Suites in Eden Prairie. We pack up her car and headed over to the Town Place.
We arrived at the Town Place hotel and we found out that the hotel had free breakfast along with a full kitchen. There was only one queen bed and a pull-out couch, but the room also had a separate office with a TV. Malachi was not happy about the pull-out couch, but he sucked it up as soon as he realized he could play his game and not have to share a TV with me. While Malachi was thankful not to have to share a TV with me, I was thankful that I did not have to go outside to pray in the mornings as I could just come into the office and pray without disturbing Malachi’s sleep. The Lord had come through for us just like He said He would. He provided a place for us for 5 more nights. I was so thankful that the Lord had come through for us and preserved us for another week. That day, my faith in God grew even more and what I learned from this experience is that when you ask God to increase your faith, you should be prepared to be given the opportunity for your faith to grow.
I woke up that morning, Election Day 2016, knowing that I needed to fast. I needed God to move and I needed answers, so I decided to turn over my plate and pray throughout the day even though I was going to be at work. We arrived at the Super 8 the night before for either the 4th or 5th time and had lugged our suitcases and bags from my cousin’s truck to our room. By now, I felt like the people at the front desk knew us and while it was nice to be known, I was ready for the hotel hopping part of our journey to be over. I was very thankful for God’s daily provision, but I was also ready for this season to be over.
The Saturday before, we went to visit a beautiful lake home that we could move into with very little notice. The home was fully furnished and even included dishes, utensils, and beds for us to sleep in. The only thing that stopped us from taking possession of the home was the money for the 1st month’s rent and security deposit. Since I had just started my new job the week before, I knew that I would not have it on my own until the end of November. In October, I applied for emergency assistance with the county to help us with the security deposit and first month’s rent of an apartment. When I applied, I was still looking for a place so our application was on hold. Before we went to see the house, I called and let the county know that we found a place. Even though I only saw photos online, I believed that everything would go well and that God would not let this beautiful place get dangled in front of my eyes only for me to find out it was not what I thought it was. That Saturday, I fell in love with the lake home and I was ready to move in, but I still had not heard back from the county so we had to leave and go back to the hotel.
That Tuesday, when I decided to fast, it seemed like everything that could go wrong was going wrong. We woke up at 4:30 in the morning so that Malachi could get to school on time. We needed to take 3 buses from the hotel to his school. We got on our first bus with no problem and for some reason the bus took an alternate route that dropped us off on the highway (it is the weirdest thing but Minnesota has bus stops on the highway). The stop was named the same, but instead of getting off on the street where we’d gotten off so many times before, we had to get off on the highway. What I did not realize at the time was that we needed to go down and get to the other side of the highway to get to the second bus. We ended up missing the second bus and there was not another bus going that way until the afternoon, so I ended up taking him back to the hotel so that I could go to work. I was frustrated, tired and cold. We walked down the stairs from the highway and as we walked the three blocks to the bus that would take us back to the hotel, Malachi fell and hurt his hand and we were both at our wits end. After he got up, he said he was OK and I cried. I was done and I just wanted this to be over. When we arrived back at the hotel I left Malachi there with specific instructions and I left the hotel again so that I could take the bus to work. I arrived at work on time and I was thankful that the events earlier didn’t prevent me from getting to work on time, but I was wiped out and ready for a nap. I grabbed a cup of coffee so that I could keep my eyes open, but I continued to fast from food through the morning.
I sat in training at work trying to keep my eyes open and learn all that was being taught to me. I was also attempting to keep my mind stayed on Jesus. About 11 am, my phone rang and it was a representative from Hennepin County calling about my application for emergency assistance. I was finally able to talk with them a short time later and I was told that my emergency assistance application was approved and payment would be made to my new landlord for the security deposit and first month’s rent. My landlord agreed to let us move into the house that same night. I was so excited and thankful and my entire countenance changed.
That afternoon, I sent a text to my friend Jackie and she agreed to take us to our new home when I got off work. I felt like I was on cloud 9 the entire afternoon and I was so thrilled to be finally moving into our home. It was like a whirlwind, I remember very little of what happened at work that afternoon because I was so ecstatic about moving into my home. Everything seemed to be happening at lightning speed. I arrived at the hotel, we grabbed our luggage, bags, etc. and we headed to our new home. I signed my lease and we were in, just like that. I could not believe how quickly this all took place, but I was so thankful that I was able to sleep in my own bed.
After nearly three months of hotel hopping and living on blind faith, God showed up and delivered exactly what He promised and more. I wanted to live on the water, and God delivered a home on the water for less than I could have ever imagined. I was so thankful that He heard my cry and my prayer and provided just like He said He would. If God is telling you to do something, whatever it may be, obey Him and let Him lead you. It may not be easy, but nothing worth having is ever easy but it will always be worth it.
In Faith & Love,
My Grandmother and Great-Grandmother used to tell me "It's always darkest before the dawn," and recently I was reminded of this by my Aunt. When we find ourselves right at the brink of what we've been believing God for and what we've been dreaming about, it often gets "dark" with perceived issues and problems, but the Word tells us to "Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice." (Phil 4:4). So when your situation appears to be dark, don't forget that it is always darkest before the dawn and don't forget to rejoice in the Lord always. Your change is coming; the dawn is on its way, don't give up now because you are closer than you think you are. #FaithIt #RejoiceintheLord #BelieveGod #TrustGod
I once was young, now I'm a graybeard— not once have I seen an abandoned believer, or his kids out roaming the streets. Every day he's out giving and lending, his children making him proud.
~ Psalm 37:24-25 The Message Bible.
On August 31st, 2016, I started a journey of faith that would take me to new depths in Christ. This was the day that my son and I boarded a plane for our new home – Minnesota. I was completely excited and completely nervous all at the same time. You see this move was truly a faith move for me. Let me go back a little.
In April, I was at the 2016 Grow Your Dreams Conference in Virginia Beach, Va. I was sitting there listening to the speaker and I heard the Lord clearly and boldly tell me to MOVE. The voice was so clear and so bold that I remember looking around to see if someone actually needed me to move, but no one near me was looking my way or trying to get by me. Judging by the way the others were looking – at the speaker – I was the only one who heard it. I knew then that it was God speaking to me directly so I wrote it down and decided I would begin to pray about it. After arriving back in Connecticut, I asked the Lord where He wanted me to go and He told me Minnesota. Now, this was not as much of a surprise to me as it was others I told because for years the Lord showed me Minnesota in the strangest places – license plates of vehicles in Connecticut and not the same vehicle but multiples ones. He highlighted Minnesota on TV shows, movies, and in other formats. I knew Minnesota existed and I am sure that I saw and heard some of this before He began highlighting it to me but it was more pronounced now than ever. So, when I came back from Virginia and asked God where He wanted me to move to, Minnesota was confirmation for me. I then asked the Lord when He wanted me to go and He gave me a date – August 31st. There was another date but I allowed fear to get the best of me and I missed it. After missing that first date, the Lord sent a lot of confirmations to let me know that this was the right move. I told the Lord that if he wanted me to go, He needed to provide the flight because I did not have the funds. Not long after I said that to Him, God sent someone along to pay for my flight and eventually Malachi’s flight too (you can see the entirety of this on my YouTube channel). And on August 31st, we were on a plane to Minnesota.
Since stepping on that plane on August 31st, I have learned so much about faith. Before we left, the Lord told me to book a hotel room for a week and I did but I did not know how I would pay for it. But I believed God so before we left and throughout our trip, I prayed and asked God to provide. After we landed, I met my friend at the airport and she took me to the hotel and she paid for the week we were scheduled to stay in the hotel. I should preface that this was our first time meeting face to face and prior to this we were in the Grow Your Dreams Network Facebook group together, but I did not know her outside of the group. After the first week, I still did not have a job and I still did not have enough funds to cover another week at the hotel so we needed to check out. By this time, I connected with some other faith-filled believers who were praying with me for another housing situation but I was frantic and in tears. I could not believe that God would bring us all this way and take care of the first week in a hotel only to leave us stranded. But that was not what God had in mind, God provided for another week at an even better hotel than the first one. And I was able to get Malachi enrolled in school and on his way to a successful senior year. After those 5 days were up, we had to again move on and each time we had to move, it became easier to trust God for the next provision because I could see the pattern of how He was providing. I could also, in most instances, see how He was going to provide for us. What I mean by that is I could plan for it or I could see how we would make it to the next place, because between my friend and I we would use our points, etc to ensure that Malachi and I had a room. Even when we did not know, God would speak to her and she would get an idea and we’d be on our way to the next place. I will admit to you, I did not like the moving around at all. I was used to be stable and being able to sit down and breathe, but it seemed like the minute I got comfortable where we were, we had to transition again. I was thankful for every new place, but I was also ready to be settled.
Along this journey, I cried a lot – I cried because we were not settled. I cried because I felt like I had no choice but to live in hotels. I cried when we would get to a hotel and it would not be like it was in the photos. As time went on, we continued moving around and then all of a sudden every brook and well that had been flowing with provision before was suddenly dried up. I was still tithing, still sowing, still giving but there was little to no provision for a hotel and we had to check out of where we were. I stayed as calm as I could and we went about the day as if I knew where we were going that night. Malachi went to school and I hung out at Starbucks believing God for provision. That night at 10:30, we finally had the funds for a room for the night but we had no idea where we would go for the next day but I took it and believed God would move on our behalf because as the bible says, “never have I seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread” and I knew we would not be begging bread I just did not know how the provision for the next night would come. On the inside, I was OK for the most part but when someone would ask me where Malachi and I were going I could not hold it in – I cried. I was in full faith totally believing that God would provide, but not being able to answer people when they asked made me think I was not a good mom or crazy for relying on God like I did. I just knew that we had this place for the night and I had to trust God even in the midst of tears. The next day while driving Malachi to school using my friend’s car, God provided. He laid us on the heart of my cousin who sent us funds enough to go to another hotel for 3 nights. While we were there, I received the provision for our next hotel because I obeyed the Lord and did what He said to do. Throughout this process, God has been faithful but I had to learn to trust Him even in the midst of tears.
This was not and is not my ideal situation at all. In my mind, we were supposed to get our place after the first week of being here at the hotel and I was supposed to get the first job I interviewed for and we’d begin our happy lives in Minnesota, but that is not what transpired. Instead of being secure after just one week of trusting God, I have been in a season of continually trusting Him for every provision. The first job I interviewed for did not come through and it took what felt like weeks to finally start getting other interviews. Not to mention that since this process began the only income I had has been through the generous love gifts from friends, family, and even strangers who have been prompted to give to us by the leading of the Lord. And while I cried a lot because I did not see a way, God provided every single day for us. Not only did He provide for us, but something else amazing began happening – God began delivering me from things that I held onto over the years – hurts, unlawful soul ties, etc. The deliverance hurt but once I was delivered I felt better and I was much stronger than I was before.
Trusting God in this process has not been easy but what I found is that you can trust God and still cry. You can trust God and not fully understand. You can trust God and not like the situation you are in currently. For me, I had no other choice most times but to trust God to provide for us in a supernatural way and while I cried because there was nothing I could do (loss of total control), I knew that God would never leave us nor forsake us because that is what His word says. I knew that if God called me to be in Minnesota, He would provide for us. The further along I went in the process, the more I get tested in this faith area because I realize that it needs to be completely settled that I trust God for everything.
Trusting God at this level is not easy for anyone because it means giving up the control you are used to. It means denying what you think or how you think it should go and default to the way God wants to do it and if you are anything like me, that is hard because I like to think I am in control. Trusting God has not been easy for me in this season, but every time I see God work the process gets a little easier and the tears come a little less. I implore you that whatever God is telling you to do or whatever He is speaking to you, trust Him to help you all of the way. He will not fail you, that is what His word promises us. Be like Nike and just do it!
It has been almost a month since my last blog post and in that time so many things have occurred in my life. I started work on a new book and 2 new journals. I also spent quality time with God which is always an amazing experience. There is nothing more fulfilling than being the presence of God. But I digress. The reason for my post today is simply to encourage you. I wanted to let you know that I think you are beautiful inside and out. I wanted to remind you that God thinks you are beautiful inside and out. I know that there are moments or days when the burdens of life feel overwhelming and we don’t take the time to see the beauty of who we are. I also know that for many of us as women we find ourselves taking care of everyone else and we don’t take the time to love and appreciate who we are. I know that some of us feel less than beautiful because of our past (or even current) history, but the truth is that you and I were
Today, I want you to know that I think you are beautiful. No matter what people have told you, you are beautiful. If you are sitting on the other side of the screen thinking, “how could she possibly know if I am beautiful” let me answer you by saying that God created you in His image and likeness; as my Grandmother used to tell me, God don’t make no junk! God is beautiful and He is love – that is the image you and I were created in. So, today walk with your head held high knowing that you are beautiful. You are not what happened to you or what someone said about you – you are beautiful!
P.S. Listen to the song below!
Liela Marie Fuller
Author, Mother, Friend, Believer in Jesus...Really Just Me.
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