Thankful I'm Not Who I Used To Be...

Have you ever been in a situation where you stop and think to yourself, “If God had not changed me, I would be doing ____ right now?”  I had this thought after a recent interaction that previously would have driven me to say some not so nice words. 

God really has brought me a mighty long way.  I was recently wrongly criticized for something that took major effort on my part.  I was extremely annoyed by the comments given to me because not only was my effort not acknowledged, but also the other party’s criticism was misplaced because the other party felt they could do a better job.  After receiving the criticism, I was hurt and very angry, but as I sat in my chair ready to throw in the towel and give up, God spoke to me.  He told me to come to Him and while my first thought was to pick up the phone so that I could complain and vent to my friend, God said, “Come to me,” so I did.  When I sat in my quiet place and talked to Him, I began to exchange my frustration for His wisdom and by the time I left His presence, I was feeling better than ever. 

So, how is that different? Before, I would have stayed angry and been angry for a long time.  I would have stomped around the house talking to anyone who would listen about my frustrations, about how unfair this person was being toward me, and about how angry I was toward the offender.  I would have never prayed about it to get God’s voice on the matter, I would have walked around without forgiving, and I would have surely ignored that person completely until I felt they had suffered enough.  But that is not how God wants any of us to live; The Word says in Luke 6:6 in God’s Word Translation, “Stop judging, and you will never be judged.  Stop condemning, and you will never be condemned.  Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” It all applies, but the last part is what is key for me, “forgive, and you will be forgiven.”  God wants forgiveness, not judgement or condemnation from us.  It can be so hard to forgive, especially when you feel like you are right in your anger, but that is exactly what God wants from us.

God wants forgiveness from us because we can’t really love people completely holding onto anger.  We cannot fully embrace others when there is hardness, bitterness and unforgiveness in our hearts.  Our mouths may say that we have forgiven, but God knows our hearts and our hearts reveal the truth of who we are and how we feel.  God wants forgiveness from us because that is His word! Forgiveness is not easy, but it is absolutely a must for us yet, at times, it can be the hardest thing we ever do.  In this case, forgiveness for me, meant that I choose God’s way – coming to Him to release the frustrations and anger I felt.  It meant leaving my feelings with Him and receiving His instruction, direction and ultimately His peace.  The old Liela would not have done that at all; the old Liela would have bypassed God altogether and I would have been stuck in anger for days or weeks.  Thankfully, I am no longer who I used to be; thankfully, God has changed me because I can forgive and move on from those negative and toxic emotions.  It took a lot for me to get here and even more for me to actually realize that I had changed, but I thank God that His way is better than mine every day of the week.

My friend, ultimately we are all a WIP (Work In Progress) and none of us are perfect at all.  God is continually working on us to make us who He needs us to be.  It will not always be an easy journey, but know that just like you, I go through things too, and just like you, sometimes I miss the mark and other times I land right on it.  The goal is not perfection – the goal is being less of who we were and more of what God wants us to be.  If any of this rings true for you, comment below, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
 
Blessings,
Liela

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